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‘Self Harm’ is when people injure, hurt or harm themselves, often to help cope with unbearable distress. Most of the time the harm isn’t intended for suicide but in order to make life bearable, just to be able to go on.

Sometimes, some people self harm without really being clear why they are doing it – they just feel desperate and driven to do something. Self harm includes such things as cutting or scratching, burning, alcohol and drug misuse, eating disorders, pulling out hair, and behaving in such a way that could cause great risk to their safety or even their life.

How self harm helps people cope
• Sometimes physical pain is easier to cope with than emotional pain and when people self harm they transfer that pain.
• It releases inner tension
• It helps them to reclaim ownership of their own body
• It’s a way of being in control
• It can be a form of self punishment
• It can help them to control their anger

It can also be:
• A response to feelings about particular parts of the body
• A way of expressing themselves when words are inadequate
• An internal expression of pain.

Some Common Myths about Self Harm
People who self harm are seeking attention
For many young people, self harm is very private. They may never tell other people that they hurt themselves. They may cover up any marks on their skin that they have made. For others, however, self harm is a way of expressing how they feel and asking for help.

People who self harm are manipulative
Self harm may be the young person’s way of dealing with situations, which they find distressing or difficult.

Self Injury is contagious
It may appear sometimes that people who self harm copy others. However, self harm is painful and unless the individual finds it personally helpful, it is unlikely to continue.

Self Harm is a failed suicide attempt
Although similar feelings and emotions may be involved, Self harm is not usually an attempt to end life. Indeed for most young people who Self harm it’s a survival strategy, a way of coping with staying alive.

Everyone who self harms has been sexually abused
Although sometimes it is linked with sexual abuse it’s certainly not inevitable. Self harm can be linked with many other disturbing and traumatic experiences.

People who self harm should be made to stop
It’s not helpful to insist that someone stops self-harming, or to make them promise not to harm themselves. The important thing is to try to understand why they self harm in the first place and to help them come up with other ways of coping.

I want to harm myself - what shall I do?
If you feel as though you want to hurt yourself in some way it may be useful to talk to someone, such as a parent, teacher, doctor or youth worker, or someone else you trust. Tackling the cause of the problem will help you to stop feeling like you want to self harm.

It may be also helpful for you to try some of these things when you are feeling like you might self-harm:
• Write down your negative feelings on a piece of paper and rip it up.
• Keep a diary of how you feel.
• Do something physical like running or swimming, or making a lot of noise
• Call a friend and talk to them.

My friend is harming herself - what shall I do?
First of all, it’s important not to judge them or dismiss them as silly. Be patient with them, respect them, listen to them, try to understand them. Even just talking to someone sometimes can help them a great deal and help them to sort out problems. Talk to someone you trust for advice and support, and encourage them to do the same.

Helpful Contacts
There are also lots of people and organisations able to help. The Amber Project works with young people aged 16 – 25 years who have experience of self-harm. They have a weekly drop in centre in Cardiff, can offer individual support and counselling, will give you space to talk about how you feel, and lots more.