Friends are important! They are people who we can have a laugh with - and they can be people who help us through difficult times. They are people who make life fun and they can be people whom we trust and who can offer support and give advice. But sometimes friendship can be difficult and challenging!

We can be friends with people on different levels. We may have one or more friends who are really close and we may open up to them and tell them how we are feeling about lots of things. Other friends may just be ‘pals’ or ‘mates’ that we enjoy a laugh with and are not so close to. Other people whom we called friends may just be people that we know and get on with ok but aren’t really close friends.

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Some people find it more difficult than others to make friends. This could be for a number of different reasons. Perhaps they are shy or they lack self-confidence. Some of us may have a low opinion of ourselves and think that others may not want to be our friends. It’s worth remembering that we all have something to offer. Sometimes, some of us need more time before we feel comfortable with others people.

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Most people will, from time to time, have a row with their friends. We usually make it up again soon. But sometimes the rows are more serious: maybe our friend has been nasty, or gossiped about us. Maybe we've let them down or something we said came out wrong. Whatever the reason, sometimes friends have serious arguments. These can feel terrible. People who were part of our life, whom we relied on, are suddenly not there. It may be a good idea to try to talk through things calmly, to try to get to the reasons for falling out. And we should have the courage to say ‘sorry ‘when it’s been our fault, and also to to be willing to forgive them, too!

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Sometimes, we may lose touch with friends. For example, if we go away to University we may make other friends and not keep in touch with the friends we had before. We may have the feeling that we have ‘grown apart’. This is often quite natural – as we all go our separate ways. However, we should be sensitive to friends in this position. If we have feel that we have ‘moved on’ our friends may not understand what is happening.

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Friendship means making an effort. It is so easy to let friends slip away because we haven’t given them enough thought or time. Friendship means give and take. It may mean putting ourselves out at times, being sensitive to how our friends are feeling, and telling them how we are feeling if we think that we have been wronged in some way.

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There are occasions when we may feel as if our friends are too intense! They may want to know everything about what is happening – and we may not be happy to tell them or share everything with them. They may want to spend every moment with us and we may not feel comfortable with that. Some of us need our own space at times – and this needs to be respected.

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It’s good to have friends to talk to, and share our problems with. Boys often find it more difficult than girls to share things with others. Because of the stereotypes of what it means to ‘be a man’ - boys can be more reserved in sharing problems and talking about their emotions. There is no need to feel like this – boys need to talk about things as much as girls. We expect our friends to be there for us when we need help or support – and so it’s natural that our friends expect the same of us.

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Sometimes we may make friends with people who can be a bad influence. This means that they may pressurise us into doing things that we don’t want to. This pressure is real and is often known as 'Peer Pressure.' We should ask ourselves what kind of friends they are if they are pressurising us in this way. And also to ask ourselves why we give into them. For example, do we give in to them to be popular? It’s also good to look at how we treat our friends. Do we expect our friends to do things against their will?

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Jesus knew the importance of friendship. He said to his disciples, ‘No longer do I call you servants, I call you friends’ (John 15:15). This meant that they were involved in what he was doing - that he shared many things with them. That he let them in on his life. Jesus is our friend, too. This doesn’t mean that he is our ‘mate’ or that he needs our ‘help’ – but it does mean that he is concerned about how we feel, that he loves us, and is there to help us. Friendship with Jesus is not a meeting of equals. But he is someone who can be trusted and relied upon.

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